(via icouldbeadrugaddict)
Comedy Central Signs Multiplatform Deal with Hannibal Buress!
You can never have enough Hannibal Buress in your life, which is why Comedy Central has just announced a big deal with the brilliant comic. In the coming months, you can look for him co-starring in our new series Broad City, executive-producing his own pilot, starring in a new one-hour stand-up special and headlining a nationwide tour.
About the news, Hannibal said, “This is really exciting. I can finally quit my day job at Quiznos. People talk down about the Illuminati a lot but this is proof that membership has its benefits.”
In the meantime, click here for some classic Hannibal stand-up.
Ladies and gentlemen… I present to you: Olivia Wilde
Olivia Wilde is such a babe.
(via abbeylinn)
Sara Bareilles - Part of Your World (Vancouver 5/9/2013)
oh my gah
stay at home dad leaves post its for his wife (part 2 ya lil shits)
Going to need more note pads… awwwwww!!!!
Oh. My. God.
I fuckin’ love every single bit of this post.
because “fucking awful” doesn’t start with a T
(Source: 3daysgobyy, via livealifethatscompletelyfree)
(via goodfuckingcoffee)
AHAHAHA NOT QUITE, OP, NOT QUITE
FUCKING NAILED IT
A+ commentary!
THANK YOU
(Source: flowers-for-mr-ukki, via kissing-whiskey)
(Source: filipasian, via isnorlax)
if yahoo buys tumblr (ALL TRUE!!):
- post limit gets changed to 150 posts a day
- you can’t google tumblr anymore you must yahoo it
- no more selfies allowed
- blogs with less than 300 followers will be deleted
- heroin will be legalized
- george bush will become president again
- stock market will crash
- korea will blow the US up
- world war 3
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
it’s kinda funny how when you get older you start to enjoy the things you hated as a kid like taking naps and getting spanked
the second one was kind of unexpected
but no one is disagreeing
(via amazeballzz)
(Source: thegentlemansarmchair, via pleatedjeans)
Please read this****
If a thief forces you to take money from an ATM, do not argue or resist. What you should do is punch your pin in reverse. EX: if your pin is 1234 you punch 4321. The moment you punch in the reverse, the money will come out but will be stuck in the machine and the machine will immediately alert the police without the theif’s knowledge. Every ATM has this feature.
Reblog this so everyone knows, this happens all the time especially in the city
tumblr teaches me so much more than anyone else does about life situationsno but then i have to work out what my pin is in reverse #ugh maths
THIS IS NOT TRUE AND WILL BE MORE LIKELY TO GET YOU HURT DO NOT DO THIS I REPEAT DO NOT DO THIS
IF SOMEONE IS MUGGING YOU JUST DO AS THEY ASK YOUR LIFE IS NOT WORTH WHATEVER AMOUNT THEY GET
plus what if your pin was a palindrome like 2442 HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ENTER THAT BACKWARDS THINK PEOPLE
(Source: eviehartley, via eelyaknavillus)
